Through The Years

hello


i love you


you mean the world to me


stay with me


i'm sorry


...


it's been too long 


i love you still


will you dance with me


i don't mean to intrude


i just want to see you smile


i'm sorry


...


hi


i love you y'know


your smile is amazing


meet me later for a drink


is your life fulfilled


it's not that i think you're sad


I miss you


i don't understand why you are still avoiding this


i'm sorry


...


how have you been


years have gone by and you're still as beautiful as before


did you create this


i enjoy talking with you


come to the river with me


it's just to visit


i'm sorry


...


hello again friend


life is well i hope


it's strange to see you here


you haven't changed at all


excitement is always easy to find


i'm sorry


...


oh it's you


i'm still alone


i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you


it won't just be me at the party


i wish you'd spend more time with me than you do


...


i miss you 

Black and White Photographs

It hurts now.

Your sounds.

Your smells.

Your eyes.

Your memory.

It tears at me. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I hadn't done what I did, said what I'd said.

If I could only prove to you...

But you ended it roughly. There's no going back now. No way at all.

I dream of your touch, your arms around me.

I dream of nothing more than the soft, happy feelings I have when I was around you.

I imagine your smile, and it is beautiful.

I remember your laugh, and it brings me bliss.

I am lost in our dreams, when everything crashes.

You attack me, shouting and even crying, though you never let me see it.

You tell me you hate me.

You tell me you never want to see me again.

Your verbal attacks continue, though the physical ones have stopped.

You walk away from me, and I break.

The pain is overwhelming.

Electricity through my veins.

Needles in my flesh.

Bullets into my brain.

If only it were over so easily.

It's been more than a year now, and I still have a picture of us on my dresser.

It taunts me each time I walk past, and it eats away at my conscience when I lay in bed.

But in that picture...

You're smiling at me.

Party Rock

where are you is all the text reads.


Your chest is pounding as the music reverberates through your entire being.


find me, lover boy is my response text.


"Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO.


You aren't even near the dance floor yet,


But your feet are already moving slightly to the beat.


You know I'll be on the dance floor,


But it's been at least five years since we last saw each other.


How do you know it's me and not another girl losing herself to the music?


You scan the crowd,


Searching the smiling faces all around you as you weave through the dancers.


Numerous times you find yourself pulled into an embrace by a random girl,


You wink and dance for a moment,


Eventually pulling away to search the crowd again.


You find me.


I'm in perfect synchronization with another girl,


My best friend,


The only other person who knows my "regular routine" to this song.


We have thrown ourselves into this song,


Moving to the beat with abandon,


Barely even noticing there's anyone other than ourselves on the dance floor.


You reach for me,


Brushing your fingertips against my back,


Pulling me back to earth.


It takes all of two seconds,


And then you and I are in sync,


No longer following my routine,


But melding two separate moves into one routine.


Before we know it,


The music has faded,


And a new song has begun.


I'm in your arms.


You're taking deep breaths,


Grinning as you stare into my eyes.


We end on a kiss,


One long overdue.

I Miss Those Laser Light Shows.

Looking back, I've found that I don't miss who I was, but I miss a few key elements of what made life a little more exciting.

I used to spend a lot more time with the few friends I spent time with outside of college classes and work.

We generally just wasted the days, causing trouble and glaring at the people who considered our actions "distasteful".

I also spent a decent amount of time drinking and going to festivals with those friends, and while I don't think I want to bring alcohol back into my life, I do miss going out.

I miss the fireworks and the useless conversations.

I miss the touches and the appreciation I felt from my long gone friends.

I suppose I really just miss being a part of something, no matter how troublesome that "something" was.

I am certainly happy to be in a much more stable place now.

I love my husband, and how much he works to keep us happy.

I love my home, and how it's always better there than anywhere else.

I love my job, and that it's not always rushed.

And I love the freedom I have for most of the day, and even the silence that goes along with it.

I just wish I were a little more outgoing.

Something to make connecting with other people easier.

Also?

I wish AJ , my cousin, were closer.

:p

♥