Surprise!

As of yesterday, July 1st, I have the amazing privilege of being pregnant and knowing about it!
I have yet to set up any doctor's visits or even tell my own mother about it (I'll be doing that tomorrow!),
But I am so excited!
July 1st would have marked the start of the 6th month without results since we have started trying.
I had been dreading July 1st for that reason.
I had started to feel a little bit let down.
But now I'm very excited!
My husband is a little more worried than excited, but I can understand that, since he's the finance man.
My worries are miniscule in comparison.
'What color will the walls be?'
'Will it be a girl? I hope so!'
'When are we going to get furniture?!'
I have so many things to dream up and so many beautiful ideas running through my head!


Also, while I'm thinking about it, I have been having a horrid time thinking up middle names.
(Yes, I already have names picked out. Don't laugh.)
But for a girl, the first name will be Isis.
There's no getting out of that for her, because I've loved that name for years now.
For a middle name for Isis, I'm leaning towards Marie, though I love Aveline too.
If it's a boy, the first name will be Ronald.
It wouldn't be my choice, but my husband asked that we name our son after his grandfather.
I agreed, but now I can't come up with anything good for a middle name.
I want it to flow well, but still be awesome, since he'd be going by his middle name anyway.


I don't know...
What do you think about the names?



 

Like His Father

I hope he looks like you.


I want him to have your eyes, and your sense of responsibility.


I pray that he'll treat his future woman with respect, and honor.


I hope that he is a hard working boy, like his father.


I want him to know that sometimes life is hard and painful, but that in the end it is all worthwhile.


I pray that he will never have sickness and heartbreak in his life, even though I know he will.


I hope that he can love fully and completely.


I want him to care about the wellbeing of any others around him, regardless of whether or not he knows them.



I pray every day, while he grows inside of me, that he turns out just like you. 

Through The Years

hello


i love you


you mean the world to me


stay with me


i'm sorry


...


it's been too long 


i love you still


will you dance with me


i don't mean to intrude


i just want to see you smile


i'm sorry


...


hi


i love you y'know


your smile is amazing


meet me later for a drink


is your life fulfilled


it's not that i think you're sad


I miss you


i don't understand why you are still avoiding this


i'm sorry


...


how have you been


years have gone by and you're still as beautiful as before


did you create this


i enjoy talking with you


come to the river with me


it's just to visit


i'm sorry


...


hello again friend


life is well i hope


it's strange to see you here


you haven't changed at all


excitement is always easy to find


i'm sorry


...


oh it's you


i'm still alone


i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you


it won't just be me at the party


i wish you'd spend more time with me than you do


...


i miss you 

I Miss Those Laser Light Shows.

Looking back, I've found that I don't miss who I was, but I miss a few key elements of what made life a little more exciting.

I used to spend a lot more time with the few friends I spent time with outside of college classes and work.

We generally just wasted the days, causing trouble and glaring at the people who considered our actions "distasteful".

I also spent a decent amount of time drinking and going to festivals with those friends, and while I don't think I want to bring alcohol back into my life, I do miss going out.

I miss the fireworks and the useless conversations.

I miss the touches and the appreciation I felt from my long gone friends.

I suppose I really just miss being a part of something, no matter how troublesome that "something" was.

I am certainly happy to be in a much more stable place now.

I love my husband, and how much he works to keep us happy.

I love my home, and how it's always better there than anywhere else.

I love my job, and that it's not always rushed.

And I love the freedom I have for most of the day, and even the silence that goes along with it.

I just wish I were a little more outgoing.

Something to make connecting with other people easier.

Also?

I wish AJ , my cousin, were closer.

:p

♥