Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts

Thursday, April 28, 2011

It Takes Me There...

One day, she awoke. The world around her was dark. The dreams, that she had only known as reality until now, had very quickly faded. She still remembered the bright colors she had seen, and seeing the black gloom that encased each person in this reality made her sad. For the first time in her life, she felt sorrow, and tears fell from her eyes.


She walked through the dark world, watching the people as they trudged on, eyes cast down, and feet dragging. More tears were shed, and more sadness settled in. She noticed that her fingernails had turned a dull, listless grey.


The trees that she passed were all covered in black. She stopped to press her fingertips against a tree trunk at one point, wondering if they were all dead. There were no leaves, after all, and the trees all looked as if they had been burned.


A surprised gasp left her pale, chapped lips as the tree she had so tenderly touched crumbled and was swept away by the cold wind. Only a pile of charred ashes remained, and even that pile was quickly diminishing. She saw the palms of her hands were covered in soot, and though wiping them against her clothing caused black smears, the black could not be removed from her skin.


Staring down at her hands, she began to move forward again, hoping for something to lift her spirits. The ground beneath her now aching feet was hard and unforgiving concrete. The cracks in it were frequent, and she found herself entranced by the passing lines. As her head tilted farther down to get lost in the pattern, her hair fell, catching her eye. Her lovely, bright, blonde hair was dull, lacking the shine and luster it had before.


Horrified, she forced her head up. The crushing weight of this world fought against her, trying to bring her eyes downward again. Her clothes were no longer blue and green. Instead, they were multiple shades of white and black. Her skin was a sickly white, her hair grey and coarse. With only enough strength left to spill a few tears, she was enveloped in depression and surrounded by her own dark cloud.


The harsh environment and the lack of support from this world's residents had taken its toll. The girl from the colorful dreams no longer existed, and she was only a part of the dark crowd shuffling down the dreary, mist filled streets.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Insignificant Love

Finding the words to say "I love you," is a monumental task in itself. But finding the emotion to make it real? To make it unforgettable, and, above all, an experience to shape your life into something amazing? That is surely a challenge.


When I see you, I don't think about the dates we had, or the commitments made. Small, seemingly insignificant things come to my mind instead.


Dinner.
Candles.
Kitten.
Dishes.
Television.
Mortgage.
Frozen.
Soda.
Movies.
Laundry.
Groceries.
Vehicles.
Jobs.
Blankets.
Pillows.
Books.

And for me, every single one of those are you.

And every single one is another reason I love you.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Through The Years

hello


i love you


you mean the world to me


stay with me


i'm sorry


...


it's been too long 


i love you still


will you dance with me


i don't mean to intrude


i just want to see you smile


i'm sorry


...


hi


i love you y'know


your smile is amazing


meet me later for a drink


is your life fulfilled


it's not that i think you're sad


I miss you


i don't understand why you are still avoiding this


i'm sorry


...


how have you been


years have gone by and you're still as beautiful as before


did you create this


i enjoy talking with you


come to the river with me


it's just to visit


i'm sorry


...


hello again friend


life is well i hope


it's strange to see you here


you haven't changed at all


excitement is always easy to find


i'm sorry


...


oh it's you


i'm still alone


i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you


it won't just be me at the party


i wish you'd spend more time with me than you do


...


i miss you 

Friday, April 8, 2011

Black and White Photographs

It hurts now.

Your sounds.

Your smells.

Your eyes.

Your memory.

It tears at me. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I hadn't done what I did, said what I'd said.

If I could only prove to you...

But you ended it roughly. There's no going back now. No way at all.

I dream of your touch, your arms around me.

I dream of nothing more than the soft, happy feelings I have when I was around you.

I imagine your smile, and it is beautiful.

I remember your laugh, and it brings me bliss.

I am lost in our dreams, when everything crashes.

You attack me, shouting and even crying, though you never let me see it.

You tell me you hate me.

You tell me you never want to see me again.

Your verbal attacks continue, though the physical ones have stopped.

You walk away from me, and I break.

The pain is overwhelming.

Electricity through my veins.

Needles in my flesh.

Bullets into my brain.

If only it were over so easily.

It's been more than a year now, and I still have a picture of us on my dresser.

It taunts me each time I walk past, and it eats away at my conscience when I lay in bed.

But in that picture...

You're smiling at me.



Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I Miss Those Laser Light Shows.

Looking back, I've found that I don't miss who I was, but I miss a few key elements of what made life a little more exciting.

I used to spend a lot more time with the few friends I spent time with outside of college classes and work.

We generally just wasted the days, causing trouble and glaring at the people who considered our actions "distasteful".

I also spent a decent amount of time drinking and going to festivals with those friends, and while I don't think I want to bring alcohol back into my life, I do miss going out.

I miss the fireworks and the useless conversations.

I miss the touches and the appreciation I felt from my long gone friends.

I suppose I really just miss being a part of something, no matter how troublesome that "something" was.

I am certainly happy to be in a much more stable place now.

I love my husband, and how much he works to keep us happy.

I love my home, and how it's always better there than anywhere else.

I love my job, and that it's not always rushed.

And I love the freedom I have for most of the day, and even the silence that goes along with it.

I just wish I were a little more outgoing.

Something to make connecting with other people easier.

Also?

I wish AJ , my cousin, were closer.

:p

♥