Insignificant Love

Finding the words to say "I love you," is a monumental task in itself. But finding the emotion to make it real? To make it unforgettable, and, above all, an experience to shape your life into something amazing? That is surely a challenge.


When I see you, I don't think about the dates we had, or the commitments made. Small, seemingly insignificant things come to my mind instead.

Dinner.

Candles.

Kitten.

Dishes.

Television.

Mortgage.

Frozen.

Soda.

Movies.

Laundry.

Groceries.

Vehicles.

Jobs.

Blankets.

Pillows.

Books.

And for me, every single one of those are you.

And every single one is another reason I love you.

It's awful, I know...but it makes me happy.

I raise my glass to you, Sir.


I commend you for not only being able to stand tall and proud, but for also truly believing the lies spewing from your overindulgent mouth.


It's more than clear that you have no idea what you speak of.


But to boldly take a stand before so many others who know you are wrong?


That takes strength.


That takes courage.


I love that your each and every mannerism shout how you are perfectly right.


And when you are confronted with true facts that tear down everything you've said before?


What better way to handle the problem than to bully your opponent?


Somewhere along the way, you realized that it doesn't matter what you do to others.


It doesn't matter what you say either, so long as you have that charming smile.


And let's not forget about your oh so luminescent personality!


You, sir?


You are a champion.


You are a star.


You are perfect.


And that's why, dear sir, when I turned you down on your offer for the night, I grinned madly and walked away.


Because not only are you an idiot, you are a charming, high on self-esteem idiot.


Oh yes.


Not to mention that the man you tried to bully because you were backed into a corner?


That was my husband.

Through The Years

hello


i love you


you mean the world to me


stay with me


i'm sorry


...


it's been too long 


i love you still


will you dance with me


i don't mean to intrude


i just want to see you smile


i'm sorry


...


hi


i love you y'know


your smile is amazing


meet me later for a drink


is your life fulfilled


it's not that i think you're sad


I miss you


i don't understand why you are still avoiding this


i'm sorry


...


how have you been


years have gone by and you're still as beautiful as before


did you create this


i enjoy talking with you


come to the river with me


it's just to visit


i'm sorry


...


hello again friend


life is well i hope


it's strange to see you here


you haven't changed at all


excitement is always easy to find


i'm sorry


...


oh it's you


i'm still alone


i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you


it won't just be me at the party


i wish you'd spend more time with me than you do


...


i miss you 

Black and White Photographs

It hurts now.

Your sounds.

Your smells.

Your eyes.

Your memory.

It tears at me. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I hadn't done what I did, said what I'd said.

If I could only prove to you...

But you ended it roughly. There's no going back now. No way at all.

I dream of your touch, your arms around me.

I dream of nothing more than the soft, happy feelings I have when I was around you.

I imagine your smile, and it is beautiful.

I remember your laugh, and it brings me bliss.

I am lost in our dreams, when everything crashes.

You attack me, shouting and even crying, though you never let me see it.

You tell me you hate me.

You tell me you never want to see me again.

Your verbal attacks continue, though the physical ones have stopped.

You walk away from me, and I break.

The pain is overwhelming.

Electricity through my veins.

Needles in my flesh.

Bullets into my brain.

If only it were over so easily.

It's been more than a year now, and I still have a picture of us on my dresser.

It taunts me each time I walk past, and it eats away at my conscience when I lay in bed.

But in that picture...

You're smiling at me.

The Cycle Continues

She spends her days alone, content to be with her paintings and dreams.

He wanders the world aimlessly, searching for meaning.

She doesn't realize there was a hole in her heart until the day they meet.

He takes it upon himself to make a move towards friendship, while wishing for more.

Her days of painting and dreaming are soon distracted by his sweet smile.

His travels come to a halt as he pushes to grow closer to her.

Her heart melts as he whispers, "I love you."

His face glows with happiness when she first tells him, "Love you."

Her awareness of the world's reality around her expands each passing day with him.

His heart softens and begins to imagine and dream more often with her by his side.

She begins to wonder after years of peace, and decides to travel.

He has become settled and no longer wishes for a troublesome lifestyle.

She argues that he's holding her back; that they had dreams together at one point.

He complains that she made him crave this stability; that their dreams are no longer one in the same.

She packs her things, ready for a new life and experiences.

He stands at the door as she prepares to leave, seemingly unaffected emotionally by her decision.

She turns to leave, and, with one quick glance back, whispers, "Love you."

He closes the door and leans against it with heavy-lidded eyes, silently saying to her, "I love you."

She spends her days alone, feeling that her dreams and adventures are lacking something important.

He wanders through his home, alone again, wishing he hadn't let his dreams walk away.

Party Rock

where are you is all the text reads.


Your chest is pounding as the music reverberates through your entire being.


find me, lover boy is my response text.


"Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO.


You aren't even near the dance floor yet,


But your feet are already moving slightly to the beat.


You know I'll be on the dance floor,


But it's been at least five years since we last saw each other.


How do you know it's me and not another girl losing herself to the music?


You scan the crowd,


Searching the smiling faces all around you as you weave through the dancers.


Numerous times you find yourself pulled into an embrace by a random girl,


You wink and dance for a moment,


Eventually pulling away to search the crowd again.


You find me.


I'm in perfect synchronization with another girl,


My best friend,


The only other person who knows my "regular routine" to this song.


We have thrown ourselves into this song,


Moving to the beat with abandon,


Barely even noticing there's anyone other than ourselves on the dance floor.


You reach for me,


Brushing your fingertips against my back,


Pulling me back to earth.


It takes all of two seconds,


And then you and I are in sync,


No longer following my routine,


But melding two separate moves into one routine.


Before we know it,


The music has faded,


And a new song has begun.


I'm in your arms.


You're taking deep breaths,


Grinning as you stare into my eyes.


We end on a kiss,


One long overdue.

A Better Place

The way you look at me,


It's like a stranger.


You say you don't understand how it got this bad.


You tell me you don't think it's worth it anymore.


I should have protested then,


I should have said something, anything!


I remember your last touch,


Your sad eyes as you turned away from me.


If I could find you now,


I'd tell you how different it is now.


How different I am now.


But I know.


You've found a better place.


Your dreams are being played out before your eyes,


When before I held you back.


Your eyes are dry now.


The tears are gone.


They left when I was thrown out of your life.


Forgive me for being jealous,


But you were the best thing to happen to me.


And I loved you,


Still love you,


Even with the knowledge of being the worst thing to happen to you.


My life will never be the same without you.


As yours will never be without me.


You're in a better place now.


And I hope you find everything you deserve.


Even if that everything doesn't include me.




♥