Thursday, April 28, 2011

It Takes Me There...

One day, she awoke. The world around her was dark. The dreams, that she had only known as reality until now, had very quickly faded. She still remembered the bright colors she had seen, and seeing the black gloom that encased each person in this reality made her sad. For the first time in her life, she felt sorrow, and tears fell from her eyes.


She walked through the dark world, watching the people as they trudged on, eyes cast down, and feet dragging. More tears were shed, and more sadness settled in. She noticed that her fingernails had turned a dull, listless grey.


The trees that she passed were all covered in black. She stopped to press her fingertips against a tree trunk at one point, wondering if they were all dead. There were no leaves, after all, and the trees all looked as if they had been burned.


A surprised gasp left her pale, chapped lips as the tree she had so tenderly touched crumbled and was swept away by the cold wind. Only a pile of charred ashes remained, and even that pile was quickly diminishing. She saw the palms of her hands were covered in soot, and though wiping them against her clothing caused black smears, the black could not be removed from her skin.


Staring down at her hands, she began to move forward again, hoping for something to lift her spirits. The ground beneath her now aching feet was hard and unforgiving concrete. The cracks in it were frequent, and she found herself entranced by the passing lines. As her head tilted farther down to get lost in the pattern, her hair fell, catching her eye. Her lovely, bright, blonde hair was dull, lacking the shine and luster it had before.


Horrified, she forced her head up. The crushing weight of this world fought against her, trying to bring her eyes downward again. Her clothes were no longer blue and green. Instead, they were multiple shades of white and black. Her skin was a sickly white, her hair grey and coarse. With only enough strength left to spill a few tears, she was enveloped in depression and surrounded by her own dark cloud.


The harsh environment and the lack of support from this world's residents had taken its toll. The girl from the colorful dreams no longer existed, and she was only a part of the dark crowd shuffling down the dreary, mist filled streets.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Like His Father

I hope he looks like you.


I want him to have your eyes, and your sense of responsibility.


I pray that he'll treat his future woman with respect, and honor.


I hope that he is a hard working boy, like his father.


I want him to know that sometimes life is hard and painful, but that in the end it is all worthwhile.


I pray that he will never have sickness and heartbreak in his life, even though I know he will.


I hope that he can love fully and completely.


I want him to care about the wellbeing of any others around him, regardless of whether or not he knows them.



I pray every day, while he grows inside of me, that he turns out just like you. 

Monday, April 18, 2011

Insignificant Love

Finding the words to say "I love you," is a monumental task in itself. But finding the emotion to make it real? To make it unforgettable, and, above all, an experience to shape your life into something amazing? That is surely a challenge.


When I see you, I don't think about the dates we had, or the commitments made. Small, seemingly insignificant things come to my mind instead.


Dinner.
Candles.
Kitten.
Dishes.
Television.
Mortgage.
Frozen.
Soda.
Movies.
Laundry.
Groceries.
Vehicles.
Jobs.
Blankets.
Pillows.
Books.

And for me, every single one of those are you.

And every single one is another reason I love you.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

It's awful, I know...but it makes me happy.

I raise my glass to you, Sir.


I commend you for not only being able to stand tall and proud, but for also truly believing the lies spewing from your overindulgent mouth.


It's more than clear that you have no idea what you speak of.


But to boldly take a stand before so many others who know you are wrong?


That takes strength.


That takes courage.


I love that your each and every mannerism shout how you are perfectly right.


And when you are confronted with true facts that tear down everything you've said before?


What better way to handle the problem than to bully your opponent?


Somewhere along the way, you realized that it doesn't matter what you do to others.


It doesn't matter what you say either, so long as you have that charming smile.


And let's not forget about your oh so luminescent personality!


You, sir?


You are a champion.


You are a star.


You are perfect.


And that's why, dear sir, when I turned you down on your offer for the night, I grinned madly and walked away.


Because not only are you an idiot, you are a charming, high on self-esteem idiot.


Oh yes.


Not to mention that the man you tried to bully because you were backed into a corner?


That was my husband.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Through The Years

hello


i love you


you mean the world to me


stay with me


i'm sorry


...


it's been too long 


i love you still


will you dance with me


i don't mean to intrude


i just want to see you smile


i'm sorry


...


hi


i love you y'know


your smile is amazing


meet me later for a drink


is your life fulfilled


it's not that i think you're sad


I miss you


i don't understand why you are still avoiding this


i'm sorry


...


how have you been


years have gone by and you're still as beautiful as before


did you create this


i enjoy talking with you


come to the river with me


it's just to visit


i'm sorry


...


hello again friend


life is well i hope


it's strange to see you here


you haven't changed at all


excitement is always easy to find


i'm sorry


...


oh it's you


i'm still alone


i don't want you to think i'm pressuring you


it won't just be me at the party


i wish you'd spend more time with me than you do


...


i miss you 

Friday, April 8, 2011

Black and White Photographs

It hurts now.

Your sounds.

Your smells.

Your eyes.

Your memory.

It tears at me. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I hadn't done what I did, said what I'd said.

If I could only prove to you...

But you ended it roughly. There's no going back now. No way at all.

I dream of your touch, your arms around me.

I dream of nothing more than the soft, happy feelings I have when I was around you.

I imagine your smile, and it is beautiful.

I remember your laugh, and it brings me bliss.

I am lost in our dreams, when everything crashes.

You attack me, shouting and even crying, though you never let me see it.

You tell me you hate me.

You tell me you never want to see me again.

Your verbal attacks continue, though the physical ones have stopped.

You walk away from me, and I break.

The pain is overwhelming.

Electricity through my veins.

Needles in my flesh.

Bullets into my brain.

If only it were over so easily.

It's been more than a year now, and I still have a picture of us on my dresser.

It taunts me each time I walk past, and it eats away at my conscience when I lay in bed.

But in that picture...

You're smiling at me.



The Cycle Continues

She spends her days alone, content to be with her paintings and dreams.

He wanders the world aimlessly, searching for meaning.

She doesn't realize there was a hole in her heart until the day they meet.

He takes it upon himself to make a move towards friendship, while wishing for more.

Her days of painting and dreaming are soon distracted by his sweet smile.

His travels come to a halt as he pushes to grow closer to her.

Her heart melts as he whispers, "I love you."

His face glows with happiness when she first tells him, "Love you."

Her awareness of the world's reality around her expands each passing day with him.

His heart softens and begins to imagine and dream more often with her by his side.

She begins to wonder after years of peace, and decides to travel.

He has become settled and no longer wishes for a troublesome lifestyle.

She argues that he's holding her back; that they had dreams together at one point.

He complains that she made him crave this stability; that their dreams are no longer one in the same.

She packs her things, ready for a new life and experiences.

He stands at the door as she prepares to leave, seemingly unaffected emotionally by her decision.

She turns to leave, and, with one quick glance back, whispers, "Love you."

He closes the door and leans against it with heavy-lidded eyes, silently saying to her, "I love you."

She spends her days alone, feeling that her dreams and adventures are lacking something important.

He wanders through his home, alone again, wishing he hadn't let his dreams walk away.



Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Party Rock

where are you is all the text reads.


Your chest is pounding as the music reverberates through your entire being.


find me, lover boy is my response text.


"Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO.


You aren't even near the dance floor yet,


But your feet are already moving slightly to the beat.


You know I'll be on the dance floor,


But it's been at least five years since we last saw each other.


How do you know it's me and not another girl losing herself to the music?


You scan the crowd,


Searching the smiling faces all around you as you weave through the dancers.


Numerous times you find yourself pulled into an embrace by a random girl,


You wink and dance for a moment,


Eventually pulling away to search the crowd again.


You find me.


I'm in perfect synchronization with another girl,


My best friend,


The only other person who knows my "regular routine" to this song.


We have thrown ourselves into this song,


Moving to the beat with abandon,


Barely even noticing there's anyone other than ourselves on the dance floor.


You reach for me,


Brushing your fingertips against my back,


Pulling me back to earth.


It takes all of two seconds,


And then you and I are in sync,


No longer following my routine,


But melding two separate moves into one routine.


Before we know it,


The music has faded,


And a new song has begun.


I'm in your arms.


You're taking deep breaths,


Grinning as you stare into my eyes.


We end on a kiss,


One long overdue.